Posts by Reopened Mind

42

Can you help me encourage Reopened mind.

by TotallyADD in

jw
friends

as most of you know we got a very angry letter from our oldest son.

it hurt her very much.

i feel so bad for her because he attacked her for what i feel was very unfair.

Reopened Mind

clarity: Family can hurt us the most because they are closest to us. We want a relationship with our family. Hugs to you dear clarity. I feel your pain. I know in my head it's not my son speaking, but my emotions like to tell me otherwise. Peace & strength back to you.

crmsicl: Our dil is definitely a "power dynamic" in this situation. My dil and I are very different personalities. He expressed love for his wife but I hope that does not mean he has to hate his mother. Telling his wife we were no longer JW's put him between a rock and a hard place. (He had asked our permission previously to tell her.) Time will tell.

Quandry: Our son was raised in the org. While he is no longer a Witness he lives with his wife and her father who are very much in mentally. I'm afraid this mentality has gotten its hooks back in him. Your being close to your daughter again gives me hope.

Mum: My son's children are preteens so I know he cannot possibly understand the dynamics of parent/adult child relationship. Dr. Dyer's book sounds like something that would help me now. I will look into it. Thank you for the suggestion.

Nathan Natas: Your parents sound like my husband's parents. He feels the only thing that kept them together was the JW religion. But O the consequences for the kids. He knows they did the best they could, improving tremendously over their parents. 100% responsibility is always laid in the lap of the parents---until the children are old enough to understand.

ruderedhead: I will try to give my son & his wife the time and space to work through their issues.

Aunt Fancy: I'm hanging, I'm hanging. My parents cried too when I became a Witness back when I was a teenager. Boy do I understand a lot more now!

wasblind: Thank you for the heart and the hug.

FlyingHighNow: My son faded before we did but lives with a wife who is mentally in (not attending) and a fil who goes to meetings. We know he is in a difficult situation. Thank you for your support and encouragement.

66

Another Newbie

by Skinnedsheep in

jw
friends

i recently came to the realization that the organization is corrupt and is false.

my story is similar to many i think.

i was raised in the religion, pioneered and served as an elder for a number of years.

Reopened Mind

Skinnedsheep,

Welcome to the forum. So glad that you and your wife are waking up together. My husband TotallyADD and I woke up at about the same time, in 2007, and we walked out for the last time in 2011.It's much easier when you have someone to lean on.

TotallyADD was an elder for 25 years and I pioneered for 4 years. Unlike the organization there are no statistics here of who was what. Many though will identify as former elders, MS, pioneers, bethelites, etc. You will just have to read the posts. Enjoy. There are a great many stories here that you will find invaluable.

Best of luck on your fade.

Reopened Mind

42

Can you help me encourage Reopened mind.

by TotallyADD in

jw
friends

as most of you know we got a very angry letter from our oldest son.

it hurt her very much.

i feel so bad for her because he attacked her for what i feel was very unfair.

Reopened Mind

whathappened: Unfortunately the WT makes it so that honesty is not always the best policy. We had been tip-toeing around our son's wife until he asked us if he could tell her we left the organization. We said OK and he did. This is when the firestorm let loose. We are not Df'd or Da'd either. We wrote back that we will always love them unconditionally. I am sorry that your daughter shunned you for a while but am happy that for your reconciliation even if it may be tenuous.

rip van winkle: We have time and we have patience and we have hope that things will settle down. I like Maya Angelou.

Hortensia: I agree. He needs to take responsibility as an adult.

MrFreeze: Thank you for your vote of confidence.

AnneB: Thank you for your love and tears. Yes, we did the best we could as I believe every parent does. Our son did not become so vituperous until he told his wife we left the organization.

PaintedToeNail: TotallyADD and I will make it through. Your support helps.

Will reply to more tomorrow. Have to go to work.

Reopened Mind

42

Can you help me encourage Reopened mind.

by TotallyADD in

jw
friends

as most of you know we got a very angry letter from our oldest son.

it hurt her very much.

i feel so bad for her because he attacked her for what i feel was very unfair.

Reopened Mind

My dear sweet TotallyADD, most of the venom in the letter was directed at him yet he opens this thread to encourage me!

I thank all of you for your kind well thought out replies. The counsel here is so much more balanced and useful here than we ever got in the WT mags, not to mention so much more loving and empathetic.

As TotallyADD said I did not get on the computer last night. What a pleasant way to start my day.

Our son is 36 years old. He has 2 children, 7 & 8 years old. We live in Pennsylvania and they live in a southern state. He quit going to meetings before we did when he saw problems with the religion. His wife does not attend either but that is because of her emotional condition. She holds strongly to the beliefs. They share a home with her father who I believe still goes to the meetings.

Oubliette: Yes, I am hurt by my son's letter. TotallyADD has taken the brunt of the visciousness. I guess growing up JW has helped him develop a thicker armor against personal attacks.

jgnat: I have that hope too.

LisaRose: I agree. I look at my parents and my husband's parents and realize that they did the best they could with what they had. Both sets did far better raising their families than than their parents. I hope someday our son will say the same about us. I have not had any instruction in meditation but when I get stressed I visualize the camping trips we took to north GA when the boys were young. That seems to help.

Will answer more later.

Reopened MInd

6

Facebook "friend" heard a rumor

by Reopened Mind in

jw
friends

i was surprised to get a message on facebook yesterday from a sister in a congregation i hadn't attended in 18 years.

she said she heard a rumor totallyadd and i no longer want to be jws.. funny thing is the last time i messaged her on facebook was january 2011. yes, i had let all correspondence drop with jws as we were well into our fade at the time.. but two and a half years and she wants to know if we want to be jws?

no how are you doing, miss you guys, or news of her family.

Reopened Mind

I was surprised to get a message on facebook yesterday from a sister in a congregation I hadn't attended in 18 years. She said she heard a rumor TotallyADD and I no longer want to be JWs.

Funny thing is the last time I messaged her on facebook was January 2011. Yes, I had let all correspondence drop with JWs as we were well into our fade at the time.

But two and a half years and she wants to know if we want to be JWs? No how are you doing, miss you guys, or news of her family. She just wants to know if she has to shun us.

I think I know how the rumor mill got cranked up there. My son told his wife we had left and she made a phone call or two.

CULT! CULT! CULT!

So glad I'm not a part of it any more.

Reopened Mind

53

Why elders' wives are such gossipers...

by Calebs Airplane in

i have a theory as to why elders' wives gossip so much.

i believe a big part of it has to do with the conversation running dry (between themselves and their elder husbands) after so many years of marriage.

since they don't get to spend too much "quality time" together (because of the elder husband's hamster wheel schedule), when they do have some intimate time alone, the elder's wives will invaribly attempt to engage their husbands in any kind of interchange.

Reopened Mind

I was an elder's wife. I was told by a sister that when I was I a car group the gossip stopped. I know it was because when I heard something I would tell my husband so the elders could handle it.

My husband was careful not to share what was going on in the congregation with me.

Please, Calebs Airplane, don't paint all elders wives as gossips. Yes, I know some are.

All of us apostates are not "mentally diseased", "drug addicts", or "drunkards".

Reopened Mind

31

Who/what is more responsible for you becoming a JW?

by minimus in

jw
friends

is it family, friends, idealism???

what????.

.

Reopened Mind

Like Julia I was converted as a teenager. Two girls in junior high began talking to me about evolution. Too bad I didn't have enough knowledge (self-confidence) to refute them. Also like Julia I was shy and socially awkward. They plied me with promises of living forever on a paradise earth with a large loving family. But, and this was a big BUT, Armageddon was due in a few years and the times were URGENT! (How long can times be urgent!!) That was back in the late sixties. I had also determined that there was no burning hell and that war was wrong so that gave them an opening of common ground.

I was loved bombed and I ate it up.

Reopened Mind

5

Facebook comments

by zound in

jw
friends

saw this daily text posted on facebook along with a buttload of comments from jws.

i would only recommend reading this on an empty stomach.. the one listening to counsel is wise.prov.

they help us evaluate ourselves too, as their is a tendency to think we are okay in many aspects.. counsel is always needed because of some personality trait so to reprove and put us in the right path.when counsel is needed, it is good for the elders to provide it at the earliest opportunity and when they do,let us listen to jehovah through them so that we can be wise...remember ..listen, obey and be blessed!

Reopened Mind

These comments have MIND CONTROL CULT written all over them; especially the ones that call for unquestioning obedience.

Reopened Mind

32

Hello

by ctrwtf in

jw
friends

i thought it was time for a formal introduction.

i've lurked here for literally years, sometimes posting sometimes not.

but i've never told my story and now seems as good a time as any.

Reopened Mind

ctrwtf,

Thanks for sharing your story. It takes a great deal of courage to "come out of the lurking closet". We are more than happy to become your extended family.

My husband was a second generation born-in, elder, PO, temp bethelite. I converted in my teens. Unfortunately our children were grown and married with children of their own before we began to learn TTAT. O well, what's past is past. We look ahead to making new friends, you know those who don't put any conditions on accepting you.

When my husband temped at Bethel he came back puzzled why there were so many buildings standing empty while they were still spending money to maintain them. Why weren't they being used if the message was so urgent? Ha ha! We all know the answer to that. There is no Armageddon, hence no urgency, just old men trying to hang on to their publishing company.

My husband too questioned the flood story. So I volunteered to research for him. What I found convinced him that not only was the religion wrong but the Bible as well.

Keep posting and keep fading. And good luck!

Reopened Mind

77

What does your screen name/avatar mean and what does it stand for

by BU2B in

jw
friends

and why did you choose it?

if you have a avatar, what is it and why did you pick it?.

ok ill start.

Reopened Mind

I thought of myself as open minded when I was a teenager. Unfortunately I opened my mind up too much and let in this cult that controlled my mind for the next 38 years. As I learned "the truth about the truth", I reopened my mind to explore all the wonderful possibilities this world has to offer and reopened my mind to really listening to people and learning from them.

Reopened Mind